Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Thank God for Thanksgiving break!! I must say Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday! I am especially excited about tomorrow. There are going to be alot of pies!! Banana cream pie, pumpkin pie, Apple crumble, blueberry, pecan pie! Oh man, I can't wait. Now seeing as it is Thanksgiving I have been thinking about everything I am thankful for and want to list a few of we go!
First of all, I am thankful for Jesus Christ dying on the cross for me! I am saved and thank God I am on my way to heaven when I die. I am thankful for His mercy and grace. I am thankful that whenever I screw up, which is usually daily, He forgives me when I ask.

I am thankful for my family. For my parents who brought me into this world, who raised me in a Christian home, who whooped my butt whenever I needed it, who loves me and encourages me in my hopes and ambitions. I am thankful for my sister, Victoria. I can remember praying and praying for a little sister and God gave her to me! I am thankful that through thick and thin, she has always been there. Through the last year we have become alot closer. I thank God for her and her crazy personality. I am thankful for my brother, Christian. After I had my sister I wanted a brother too. I prayed and prayed and boom, he was an accident... but God knew I needed a brother. He is a crazy, insane, and funny! Without my brother I don't know what my life would be like. The way he acts, the things he says, and the things he does reminds me of myself when I was younger.

I am thankful for all of my friends! For my old friends, for my new friends, for my close friends, and my acquaintances. I am thankful for Amanda S., Leann, Mandy, Andrea, April, Brandon, David, Crystal, Gary, Rachel, Jared, Phiet, Beth......all of them! Those I forgot and those I didn't mention. As weird as it sounds, I am thankful for the ones who hurt me and turned their back, because they made me stronger! I am thankful for the ones that were there when I needed someone to talk to. The ones that were there so I could cry I on their shoulder. The ones I have inside jokes with...." Suntan lotion... dug dug dug...Iraq Man...say that to my face....cuz it's late and your mama don't know I'm talking about baseball!" Yes, there are a few. I am thankful for each and every one of them!

I am thankful for being born in America! For being an American citizen. For my rights and my privileges. I am thankful for my right to pray where I want, to go to church where I want, to be able to gather and worship whenever I want, to not be in need of anything, to not be starving and wondering when I am going to eat next.

I am thankful for the hardships that have occurred in my life. I am thankful for every heartache, for every sad moment, for every time I didn't think I could go any farther, for every failure, for every mistake. Without those things in my life I would not be the person I am today. Each thing that has happened in my life has happened for a reason, whether by God allowing it or by my own stupidity and bringing it upon myself. It has made me stronger and I have found that each step was a type of building block that got me where I am today.

I have so much more to be thankful for and I have listed just a few. I can be thankful for beauty, for oxygen, for pies, for turkey, soccer, football, flowers, ocean, art- the list is never-ending! As we sit around tomorrow eating turkey, pies, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing let's remember to be thankful for all we have...and don't have. Remember to be thankful for not only the roses, but the thorns that come with them.

Until next time,

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Death by Fire

It has been a while since my last post and I thought now would be a perfect time for another one.
Before I get into the main topic of my blog I will just give you an overview of what has been going on with me lately.
School has been driving me crazy. One class in particular I am having a lot of trouble with and the teacher is horrible. I have made new friends along the way though and that always helps! I am kind of at that place people get to sometimes -especially now, when the winter cold is coming on and you are not ready for it to get here. Where you just feel like you are in a rut, waiting for something big to happen and it doesn't. When you begin wondering just what it is you are doing in life, waiting for the unexpected, just waiting for something exciting to come along and peak your interest. Right now I seem to just be going through the motions of life and I hate getting in that kind of mind set.

These last few days I have had fall break. A friend from Missouri came down and we were able to spend about about 4 days together. I really enjoyed it. While she was here we went to the late night showing of Fireproof. I was not looking forward to seeing that movie. I wanted to see another one but after some going back and forth we decided on Fireproof. Many people told me the acting was horrible and that I would not enjoy it because of the acting. That's what I was going on when I walked into the theatre. The movie was actually really good! Now don't get me wrong, the acting really could have been way better than it was, but the message was astounding!! And I am not even married!!! Many of you probably already know the plot to the story but for those of you who don't here is a quick run-down. There is this married couple who have seemingly fallen out of love and want out of their marriage. The husband's father asks his son if he is willing to give it 40 more days. Upon the husband's answering 'yes' his father sends him a journal to use as a guideline for each day. Through this journal, his parents prayers, and his fathers wisdom he accepts Jesus and saving his marriage is no longer just a dare given to him by his father but rather something he is willing to fight for.

This is where I can get into the point of my blog. :-)

Fireproof showed how the little things in life that bother people will start accumulating and begin growing into bigger things that lead to more trouble. which will eventually escalate into something catastrophic. It showed how life itself is not fireproof. If we do not have God in our lives, our lives are not worth living. If we start allowing evil to come into our lives-and maybe it's not all at one time; but slowly- we begin playing with fire and eventually get burned. When we get to a point where we feel like we don't need God and we can do it on our own; that is when we might as well be asking for death by fire because, not just this world, but even our very own minds, can burn us to the ground. They played a song in the movie called "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns. I am going to write the lyrics out and I want you to really think about them as you read them.
"Slow Fade"-(1) Be careful little eyes what you see, It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings. Be careful little feet where you go. For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow.
(chorus) It's a slow fade when you give yourself away. It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray. Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid When you give yourself away. People never crumble in a day It's a slow fade.
(2) Be careful little ears what you hear When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near. Be careful little lips what you say, For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray. (Chorus)
(3)-The journey from your mind to your hands Is shorter than you're thinking Be careful if you think you stand You just might be sinking.
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away. It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray. Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid. When you give yourself away. People never crumble in a day.Daddies never crumble in a day, Families never crumble in a day.

Oh be careful little eyes what see, Oh be careful little eyes what you see, For the Father up above is looking down in love Oh be careful little eyes what you see.-

The song has so much truth to it! If we are not vigilant in our lives and keep Christ as our focal point, everything we thought to be important will begin to fade away. We will one day look around and wonder what happened. How our lives became the way they are, how our families fell apart, how a marriage fell apart, how we became so distant from the One who loves us so much. If you have not seen this movie I suggest it highly, not just for the married people either. If you are single, go see it. It will help you watch for pitfalls when you do get married.

If God has knocked on a heart's door so many times with no answer, if He is no longer present in a life, if the little things grow into big things and cause great heartache, it is as if death by fire is being asked for.

I close with this thought. Remember life is not fireproof. Without God, life will amount to nothing and burn in the flames. Life is like a fading leaf (Isaiah 64:6), here one minute and gone then next. Our lives might not be fireproof but God gave us a guidebook to live by- the Bible. We must make sure we have God in our lives and are trying our best to live by His guidelines or we begin asking for death by fire.

Until next time,

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A Eulogy

Hello again everyone! This idea came to me from my cousin, Amber and I thought it would be a great blog to write about. Here it goes!

Have you ever wondered what you want written on your gravestone when you die? Or have you ever wondered what people will say about you as you are lying in the casket, dead to the world and, if you are saved, in Heaven with the Creator? What would people say about you?! What would you want them to say? Would you want eeryone to know that you were a good wife, mother, friend, soul-winner, servant, husband, brother, daughter, son...etc? What would you want to be said? Would you want anything to be said at all? Would you rather have someone just bury you in a box and put you 6 feet under?

Now here is the bigger question I pose to you- Regardless of what you want someone to say about you when you die or what you may want your gravestone to have written on it, what will God say? Does that ever scare you in the least bit?!

I know it does me! I can think back to many days and occurrences when I have failed God in the greatest ways and all I can think about is the day I will stand before him in judgement and having to watch as my works are put through the fire and God shows me all the wrong I have done in my life. It is a scary thought. I can only hope that there was some good in my life that He can look at me and say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." What will his Eulogy be for each of us? Of course, if we are saved we will never have a true eulogy where He will be bidding us farewell, but rather a welcoming where he will be welcoming us into the pearly gates! A welcoming into heaven. Will his welcoming be one of great excitement that we are finally able to join Him or will it be one that will not be as exciting because of how we served Him here on earth?

Then there are the ones who are on their way to hell and really will have a eulogy. One here on earth and the one that will be given when they stand before the Great Judge on Judgement Day.
Unfortunately, the eulogy the Lord will give to the lost souls is not one of niceties. He instead will be giving eulogies for people He does not know for He will only say, "Depart, I never knew you."

Now, here is my biggest question of the post....are you living your life the way you want your eulogy to be given? Not just the one here on earth, but the one we will be given in heaven. I realize we are all human, we all make mistakes, none of us are perfect, and none of us will have a perfect record. Thank God though, if we are saved He will look in the Lamb's Book of Life, see our name written, and all He will see of us is the blood of his Son that was shed for us on the cross. Now do not get me wrong we will be judged, but we will have our record cleared because we have Jesus as our Advocate!

I am not here to place judgement. It is not my place to judge. I just wanted to put the questions out there as a reminder. Not only you but me as well. Sometimes being reminded that our life will be judged one day, that we will all have our own eulogies to listen to, and we will be standing before an All-Righteous God during this time is a humbling thought.

I leave with this. You are writing your eulogy. Is your life writing the type of eulogy you want to have after you have taken your last breath here on earth and wake up in the light of God's glory?

Until next time,


Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Real or Fantasy?

During these last couple of weeks I have been watching a series entitled "Heroes". It is really a great television series and watching it has brought a question to my mind. Are there really people out in the world with special abilities? I do not necessarily mean that some people can fly or walk through walls or have x-ray vision, but I mean they have special abilities that very few people possess.

We have people in the world who are geniuses when it comes to numbers, or figuring out algorithms or mathematical formulas. We have some who are child prodigies who can play Mozart and Beethoven at the age of two. There are people who can look at something that is in pieces and know exactly how to put it back together without even needing an instruction manual, because in their mind's eye they know exactly what to do and how it is supposed to be placed back together.

Here is my bigger question though, what about the special abilities that no one believes in? For instance, what if someone could dream something about the future? What if someone can look at a picture and know something about the person or the place in the picture without even knowing the person or the place? What about a person who can look someone deep in the eyes and know exactly what they are thinking at that very moment? What about someone who can pass by a person, bump into them (on accident or on purpose) and know something good or bad about that person by just a mere touch? -as if a energy wave has passed from one body to another- Not many people believe that these things are true but what if they are? What if there really are these kind of people out in the world who have these abilities? They can't talk to the dead, they are not fortune tellers, they can just do things that not many people can do. What is your opinion? Are there really these type of people out in the world, or is it all just comic book fiction?

In Bible times God gave certain people the ability to prophecy. He gave certain people the ability to interpret dreams. Does He still enable people to have those kinds of abilities or is it something of the past, meant only for the past? I understand that now we have the Bible to live by and use as a guideline for our lives but would He stop giving those abilities just because we have the Bible? I have heard some say people don't have those abilities anymore because we have God. Meaning, we can go straight to Him in prayer for answers or whatever the case may be. Here is my thought though, we had that same opportunity then too. Yes, it was a little different because at the time we had to have blood sacrifices, but we still prayed to God. Even though we could pray to Him he still had people prophecy or interpret dreams. After Jesus came and died and became the sacrifice for us did it all stop? Did God quit allowing people to have these abilities or is it still around?

We have all heard of premonitions. What would one consider that to be? A once in a life time thing when something is about to go horribly wrong?

What about the idea of Guardian angels? I really have studied this out and personally believe that God gives each child his or her Guardian angel until they no longer need their Angel's protection.

This is the question I pose to you: The supposed abilities some may have; is it a gift from God or
a comic book fantasy? Tell me what you think.

Until next time,


Thursday, August 21, 2008

E. All of the above

Well, now it has been more than just a couple days. I thought I would be able to write just a few days later but as you can tell, I did not. Unfortunately, I also forgot what it was that I wanted to write about. I must have resolved whatever was bothering me.

On to a new subject at hand, school started back this past week and already I feel as though I have information overload. It is okay though because I know these classes are going to get me through to a nursing career. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. I have to go take a test tomorrow that will decide whether I can apply to the RN program for the spring semester or not. I only need 5 points to apply so I hope I can boost my points up in math just a little bit more. I have found, now more than I have before, how complex our bodies can be and the necessities our bodies need to function properly thanks to the classes I am taking this semester. It is amazing! God truly outdid Himself when he created the human being.

It seems just when you start forgetting about God's greatness He does something to remind you He is there and He is infinite in his wisdom and might.

My cousin Tiffany is still going through Chemotherapy. Please continue to pray for her as she is going through the treatments. That girl is taking it like a trooper though. Her sense of humor is still up and kicking, she will still laugh at the slightest thing, and from what I can tell, her appetite is fine. She just gets tired more often and she aches at times. Some of my mom's family hopes to come up for Labor Day weekend and hopefully she will feel well enough to come.

Over the last few weeks I have lost a few piano students for various reasons. I was a kind of dissappointed for a little while. The very next week I had three more students begin. It was as if God saw my dissappointment and gave me more students than I had actually lost. He is good to us even when we don't deserve his goodness.

Thankfully, the rain has come and gone! The sun shone bright this morning and I was excited. I was starting to get a little down because the rain just wouldn't seem to stop, then this morning the song, "High of '75" was in my head on the way to school. I want to share the chorus with you!
It goes: "Now I'm sunny with a high of '75 since You took my heavy heart and made it light and it's funny how you find you enjoy your life when you're happy to be alive."
Soon fall will be coming which is actually my favorite season but I wouldn't mind the sunshine for a few weeks longer before we get to hoodie weather!

Oh, here is something else really neat. As many of you know I have a Facebook page. Well, a few weeks ago I found some people we were stationed with in California. I became their friends on there and we have been doing alot of catching up. The internet is really a fantastic thing sometimes! We still have a lot of catching up to do, but it has been great.

Well, I guess that is all I have for this blog. Hopefully I will have something really interesting to write about next time. I know this one was kind of hard to follow because my subjects seemed to constantly be changing but I knew I was probably going to do that; that's why the title of this blog is as stated above. :-)

Have a great weekend! Get outside and enjoy the warm weather, because who knows how much longer we will have it.

Until next time,


Friday, August 1, 2008

Summer Days

It is now the 4th day of August and I can't believe how time is flying by! I just got finished with summer classes a few weeks ago and already enrolled for the next semester that starts in just a few weeks. I am definitely a little more nervous about this semester than I was any of my other ones. I am taking a full load this fall with Anatomy and Physiology, Introduction to Microbiology, Nutrition, and First Aid. I have never taken that many courses at one time and I am a little nervous about taking two science classes at the same time. Everyone said it is going to be hard but because I do not really have a day to day job or family to worry about I should be able to study more and make good grades. I really hope so or else I may be dropping a class or two.
My friend, Leann, is back from her tour with the Melodies (a singing group) for the summer and we are definitely going to be hanging out as much as possible before we both have to start the next semester of our college classes.
I guess I do not really have a lot to put into this blog but I have another one I am soon going to write that has been brewing in my mind for a while. Summer has been excellent though and although school is coming in just a few weeks I am trying not think about it so much until I really have to. I went canoeing(sp) down the Illinois river last week, had a piano recital for my students the week before that, and have been working out at the gym at least twice a week. It has been really relaxing to not have to worry about writing papers or studying or anything. It's really been great!
Well, I hope you all are having a wonderful summer! I will write again soon with something that has been on my mind for the last couple weeks.

Until next time,

Monday, July 14, 2008

My Best Friend

Well, it is almost midnight and it has been about a week since my last blog. This one is going to be a little different though. You see, my best friend comes on my blogspot sometimes and reads my blogs. She has been asking for a while that I write one about her. Well, Amanda, this one is for you. To all the others who read this may you see how I met the girl who is now my best friend.
It all started when I first moved here from Georgia back in 2001. We had only been here a couple months and I was not thrilled to be in Oklahoma -of all places-! We had been house hunting for a while and we eventually came to the one we live in now. When we first came to the house I saw a little girl in shorts and a T-shirt walking down the sidewalk. My mom said," Look Jackie! There is a girl who could be a friend for you!" I was almost offended. I said, "Mom, she looks like someone who could play Barbies with Victoria." Man, was I wrong about that one. It was not that much longer and we moved in and started getting settled. I 'properly' met Amanda a few houses down from our house. She informed me she was in the 5th grade, she had just recently turned 11, and her full name was Amanda Lynne Steele. I think we were friends from that point on.
Through time we started becoming closer. She would come to my house almost every day after school and we would play outside, whether it was riding bikes, scooters, basketball, riding the skateboards down the steep driveways, or on many occasions her mom made her do all her homework before she could play so she would bring it outside and I would do her science homework while she finished her math or history homework. One day I will never forget was the day I was able to sit with her up in my room and lead her to the Lord. She accepted Christ as her Savior and soon started coming to church with me and my family. I know now, she was a big reason God had me and my family move to Oklahoma.
We spent almost every single day together for years. She never would spend the night at my house though. She was afraid of the dark I think. :-) We shared almost everything. Our hopes, dreams, crushes, fears. You name it, we knew it. She was my partner in crime.
After a sad series of events she had to move up to Missouri with her extended family. You know the funny thing is though....that although I thought that was gonna change alot of things it really didn't. Even though she lives nearly 5 hours away it is just as if she is living a few houses over. We still share secrets, still laugh at the stupid muffin joke, still talk almost every day, still talk about our 'crushes', and when we see eachother every couple months we make sure we do our tradition rituals of sitting in the driveway and talking until late in the night and getting up early the next morning just so we can go eat Denny's.
Not only have we spent our middle school years together, you know those awkward years when you are transitioning from a younger kid to a weird teenager?, but our highschool years as well,although we were seperated for most of them. Now we are both graduated and looking forward to the fall semesters of college. I am not really sure what life is going to bring for either one of us but I do know one thing. My best friend and I are going to face life together.
There are many things that people can find when they look up the word 'friendship'; Go on any internet site, read it in any book, find it in any work of art, see it in a photograph, hear about it in songs, it can be defined in the dictionary! The best way to truly see friendship though, is not by searching in any of those things. Not a book, song, site, or picture- rather friendship can be seen and enjoyed by just having that friend who helped create that frienship right there beside you; laughing at your stupid jokes, crying with you when you cry, listening when no one else will, arguing with you when there is no one to argue with, informing you when you are being stupid and need to straighten up, helping you figure out that stupid math problem, telling you that boy you thought you really liked was really just a jerk who needed to get a life, watching movies with you and screaming extremely loud on the jumpy parts, cracking pecans on the front porch with you when there is nothing else to do. Friendship is all of the above! I don't believe it can truly be defined in words. The saying goes,"Actions speak louder than words." Friendship is not just a word, it's an action. The friend that stays beside you when the going gets tough, when nothing seems right, when you keep scewing up, when you know you can depend on them through the thick and the thin- that is when you know not only have you found a friend but probably your BEST FRIEND!

Until next time,

Monday, July 7, 2008


Hello! I have not been able to write in quite a while due to a hectic couple of weeks but I hope everyone had a great Independence Day this past week!
As me and my family usually do, we went to Texas for the 4th of July. We had a great time and although I did not really want to go in the beginning, I am glad I went.
I was able to meet three cousins that are all under a year and was able to spend time with other cousins, aunts, and uncles. Being the oldest cousin has both it's advantages and disadvantages. Now don't get me wrong because I absolutely love being the oldest cousin but along with being the oldest I realize the responsibility that I must carry. In being the oldest not only do you have to watch what you say or do, but you have to be open-minded. Never become too old or mature to where you cannot be a kid anymore. Examle: My older cousins wanted to go to the mall while we were there. They asked if I would take them and I said I would so I and 5 teenagers loaded up. We went to the mall that same day and spent a few hours there. I enjoyed it and liked watching how all the older kids interacted with eachother, especially my brother and Tyler, because they were only two boys. Driving back out to the ranch, I was tired, my mouth was sore, but my heart was pretty light.
The next day my younger cousins, Justin, who is 5, and Lee, who is 7, were playing in the living room floor with their cowboys, Indians, and Transformers. As I was sitting there watching them play Justin said,"Do you wanna play 'The West' with us?" Of course, it was not really a game, but rather the two boys playing in the floor with the toys. I got in the floor and began playing make-believe. The range of abilities as an older cousin should never be limited!
The youngest cousin now is only 4 months old. I took her outside the last night we were there and walked with her and whispered words to her until she fell asleep in my arms. As I was walking around with her I thought of the great age difference between us-18 years- then found it humorous because the oldest cousin/grandchild/neice was cradling the youngest cousin/grandchild/neice. I thanked God for allowing me to be the oldest; not because I get any special rewards or praise but simply because I can see things differently and look at things in a somewhat different light when it comes to my cousins.
My aunts gave me wisdom in their own special ways and my uncles...well, they just gave me a hard time. That's what they do best though.
My family can be chaotic, hectic, and sometimes out of sorts, but I would not have it any other way! Each person brings something to the family that somebody else does not and probably could not because only that one individual carries it. Even though they may sometimes give me a headache, I know they love me! That is what family is all about anyway, right? They are supposed to get on your nerves but beat up the first person that tries to tear you down. That is just how it goes. That is family!

Until next time,

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Single and still waiting...

Over the last few weeks I have realized something...There are so many women who are single! Maybe it is just me but what is the deal? There are some really great ladies who I know that are not happily married when really that is something they want. They are just waiting for the right man to come along and sweep them off their feet. Why can't a great guy come along, see them, and realize they are amazing? I realize no one can really answer this question with great confidence in an answer. I am not trying to put a bad light on any guys out there but here is my question, Do guys just not care to find a good girl anymore? Do they really want one who can be found in a club, drunk, and shaking their bodies on a dance floor? I know the answer for most men is, "No!" Why do guys think, "I will go out; have my fun, but when I feel it is time to settle down and start a family I want a girl who has done nothing."? Women find this to be the truth in most cases. Now I am not saying this is how it is in every case but a majority of men feel this way. The ladies I know, although they are overall content with their state in life, would like nothing more than to be the wife to a man who will love them and a mother to children. Yet, they are still waiting and hoping someone comes along before their biological clock runs down and they will not be able to have children of their own.
These ladies are single, and still waiting. I am not trying to make them sound desperate because they are not, in any way, shape, or form. They are hard working, have alot going for them, and are happy with what they are doing in life. There is just always that look in their eyes. The one that tells you they have a feeling of loneliness that will be there until that part of life is fulfilled.
Some people do not want to get married. They are just not interested and do not care to marry.
There are many women though who are still single and still waiting. So where are the guys for these ladies? God has a plan for each individual so singular and so unique it cannot even be comprehended but sometimes I wonder why God has not sent someone their way yet. Why He still is making them wait, and why He allows them to continue being single.
Until these women find the right guy though, they will continue to be single and wait for God's timing, his guidance, and the right guy He has for them.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Summer adventure

Wow! It really has been quite a while since I last wrote a blog. It was well time I write another one. Well, as everyone can tell summer is here! The temperatures are starting to rise, kids are out of school, and everyone is trying to get in as much sun as possible before it is gone again. I love summer! This summer is going by extremely fast for me though. I don't think I have really stopped being busy since school let out back in May. I have already started my summer classes over at RSC this past week. Before my summer became too hectic though I went on a week-long adventure! Many of you know I went out to Kentucky the last week of May for 7 days. I must say it was amazing! I think the best part of it all was just exploring! I hadn't been out east in a long time so when April and I got past the Arkansas border it was like a whole new world almost. Everything was so much greener! There were mountains and hills. -Now here in Oklahoma we kind of have hills, but over all we have flat lands.- Kentucky had the backwoods winding roads, country folk who came up and gave you a hug or pat on the back when they didn't even know your name, and for some, a kiss on the cheek just to show you were welcome! Talk about that southern hospitality! It was really a lot of fun. I was able to see a cemetery with some of the oldest gravestones I had ever seen. I trampled through two cornfields, a hayfield, found a creek, and on the way back to where I started from got caught in a drizzle that turned into a downpour! As crazy as that may sound it was something I really needed. I needed to just be by myself and be utterly consumed by all that was around me. I could clear my head and when that rain started falling all I could do was stand under a tree and watch it fall on the earth around me. I didn't care that I was caught in the rain. It was revitalizing!
At night I was able to sit outside and actually see hundreds and hundreds of stars. Seeing so many stars and constellations helped me remember how great, powerful, and limitless our God is. Every one of those stars have a name! I had forgotten that. It was humbling to look up and see everything in the heavens that is actually visible to the human eye, realize there is so much more beyond that we cannot see, and realize how small and finite our minds are compared to the Maker of the universe.
On the last night of my stay in Kentucky Andrea and April's dad took us up through the woods to a little hilltop where the black slaves were buried. It was really interesting! Out of all the graves that were there only one headstone remained visible above the earth. It was the headstone of the head cook on the plantation. Although I can't remember her name the dates of her birth and death were 1817-1864. Something close to that anyway if I am not spot on. It was really interesting though and I plan to try and find the other gravestones next time I go out there. After we came back from tromping through the woods, Mr. Osbron built a fire out on the property and told a few ghost stories! It definitely made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
Although it was amazingly fun out there and I haven't even told you half of my adventures I am glad to be back home. It is kind of humorous how even though you have fun somewhere different and wouldn't mind staying longer, imaging what it would be like to live there, come back to where you have your roots and are content being right where you are, knowing you are right where you are supposed to be.

Until next time,

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Prayer Warrior

"I am a soldier, a prayer warrior. Here I stand.

I am a soldier, a prayer warrior, of the army of my God. The Lord Jesus Christ is my Commanding Officer. The Holy Bible is my code of conduct. Faith, Prayer, & the Word are my weapons of warfare. I have been taught by the Holy Spirit, trained by experience, tried by adversity, and tested by fire. I am a volunteer in this army, & I am enlisted for eternity. I will either retired at the Rapture or die in this army; but I will not get out, sell out, or be talked out. I am faithful, capable, & dependable. If my God needs me, I am there.

I am a soldier, a prayer warrior. Here I stand.

I am not a baby. I do not need to be pampered, petted, primped up, pumped up, picked up, or pepped up.

I am a soldier, a prayer warrior. Here I stand.

No one has to call me, write me, visit me, entice me, or lure me.

I am a soldier, a prayer warrior. Here I stand.

I am not a wimp. I am in place saluting my King, obeying His orders, praising His name, & building His kingdom.

I am a soldier, a prayer warrior. Here I stand.

No one has to send me flowers, gifts , food, cards, candy, or give me handouts. I do not need to be cuddled, cared for, or catered to. I am committed. I cannot have my feelings hurt bad enough to turn me around. I cannot be discouraged enough to turn me aside. I cannot lose enough to make me quit. When Jesus called me into this army, I had nothing. If I end up with nothing, I will still come out even. I will win. My God will supply all my needs. I am more than a conqueror. I will always triumph. I can do all things thru Christ.

I am a soldier, a prayer warrior. Here I stand.

Even death cannot destroy me. For when my Commander calls me from this battle field, He will promote me to a captain & bring me back to rule this world with Him. I am a soldier, a prayer warrior, in the army of God, & I am marching; claiming victory. I will not give up. I will not turn around.

I am a soldier, a prayer warrior, and marching heaven-bound. Here I stand!"

This poem was read tonight in church. I do not know who wrote it, but God knew I needed to hear it. Today my cousin found out she has Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Doctors are not 100% sure but they are about 98% sure that is what she has. She is soon to be 13 years old.

My cousin needs prayers! After the doctors run a few more tests they will more than likely begin chemotherapy. Now, more than I have been in a while, I need to be a strong prayer warrior. The God who healed hundreds of years ago is still in the healing business today. He may choose not to heal her; that may not be His will, but I will pray for her and her family just as hard and hope she will either be healed or the doctors will get her into remission. I ask that you who read my blogs, will also pray. You may not always remember her in every prayer you pray, but any prayers will help.
God said any prayers you pray in His name He will answer. Please lift her and her family up in your prayers during these next couple weeks. I ask you join with me in being the prayer warriors God made us to be.


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Life Choices

The choices we make in life determine what kind of person we are or will become. What if we do not know for sure what the right choices are? What if you are so sure about something but everything else is going against what you think? What if you know the decision you have to make but are not sure of how to go about it?
I seem to have so many questions with no answers! There has been so much going on these last couple of days and I feel as though I am almost drowning! What are the right decisions? What is the best decisions for my life? I want to do the right things and make the right choices. I do not want to regret any decisions I make. I realize there are inevitably going to be choices I make in my lifetime that I will regret; that's just life, but I want to be allowed to make those decisions and learn from them. Yes, I want guidance and councel but I do not want to be told what I can and cannot do with my future. I do not want to be given ultimatums and I do not want to 'make deals' about my future. I want to be treated like a respectable adult and have others realize I am not a child who can be told what they can or cannot do.
When does that time come when one is no longer seen as a child but rather as an adult? I know as a young person I must prove myself to those around me to show that I really am an adult but what more must I do? Am I missing something?
Though many of you have no idea what I am talking about in reference to my decision making perhaps you can answer some of these questions and help clear my befuddled mind. All of those who are old enough have asked many of these very same questions I am sure. I now just need some guidance. I need someone without clue about what decisions I am talking about and just give me their opinion on some of my questions.
I know I just have to take everything one day at a time; not borrow any worries from tomorrow but deal with what is on my plate now. It feels like everything is coming down and this wave is hovering over my shoulder ready to crash. Why is it that once you start just getting comfortable and you think everything is just how it should be God allows something to happen and it is almost as if you have started back at square one?
My motto for life is as follows, "Treasure yesterday, dream of tomorrow, but live today". Maybe that is all I really should be doing; just living each day. That is what I am trying to do anyway. It just seems as if I have too many questions with not enough answers.

Until next time,

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

A New Chapter of Life and the Flowers

Well, it has been a few weeks since I have last posted a blog but here I am again to write a new one.
I am officially graduated now and beginning a new chapter of my life. The novel of my life is being written and this may be one of the longest chapters which are to be read. I took my last final this morning in Psychology and will have a few weeks break before I begin taking summer classes in June. Getting ready for graduation and everything that goes along with it over the last couple weeks has caused me to kind of reminisce over my years and years of schooling.
As many of you know I was homeschooled from the very beginning (except for a week of Italian pre-school) I remember wondering sometimes what it would be like if I went to a real school with a real classroom and classmates. Looking back on it now, I am glad I didn't. Taking classes at Rose State College has made me realize alot of what my parents were trying to protect me from by keeping me home. Too much drama for me!
The saying goes "Time is like an hour glass. The sand seems to run out way too fast." This saying is so true. I can remember starting first grade and thinking to myself, "I can't believe I am gonna have to do 13 years of school before I can be a grown-up!" Now I look back and think, "Gee, what happened to the time? Wasn't it just yesterday I was mad about having to learn my times tables?" Now I am graduated and looking ahead, wishing life would stop giving me a few smacks.
I am not sure what this new chapter of life will hold for me. I don't know what is going to happen and to be quite honest, I don't really have a set plan. I know I am going to go to school and get a degree. I am going to be someone in the medical field, but beyond that I really have no idea. Someone the other day gave me some really good advice. He said, "Once you start running in life these next few years, with your head down trying to reach that goal...just remember to look up and smell the flowers as you pass by." What he said made me think.
For my graduation alot of my family came to support me. They were here for about 5 days and I was hardly home during the time they were here. I always had somewhere else I had to be. Later in the week when I was told, "...remember to look up and smell the flowers..." I realized I was already starting my new chapter on a bit of a rough start. Although, I was stopping to smell the flowers, I was not taking the time to appreciate them.
I think this is going to be something I will struggle with-stopping and smelling the flowers-. I am the type of person that once I have a goal in mind set, I won't stop what I am doing until I have reached that goal.
My hope now is not only to be successful in this new chapter of life but also to take the time and remember to stop and smell the flowers God has placed for me along the path He has chosen for me.

Until next time,

Sunday, April 27, 2008

The Heart of a Child

As some of you may know, I help in the morning exercises at our church. I help keep an eye on the kids before they are split up and taken to their Sunday School classes. We begin by playing a game and singing a few songs. We then conclude the morning exercises with offering and prayer before the Sunday School teachers take the kids to their classes.
This morning I went to the front of the room and started calling on children to pick songs to sing. Almost every hand in the room lifted and kids were yelling out songs they really wanted to sing, ranging from "Jesus Loves Me" to the "Crayon Box" to "The Little Green Frog" and "Captain Jack". I asked myself, "When was the last time I got excited about a song I really wanted to sing for God?" If only we had the heart of a child sometimes.
I then picked one boy for the boy's offering and one girl for the girl's offering. One of the boys, Latrell, raised his hand and said,"Miss Jackie, can I please pray for the offering this week?!" I said that was fine and he came to the front of the room with me and the other two kids to pray. He grew somewhat solemn and began his prayer. His reverance amazed me. I can't tell you word for word what he said but you could tell he meant it. He prayed for the offering, for the Sunday School classes that were about to begin, for the children there and the ones that didn't make it that day. He prayed for the teachers, for the lesson, and for the children who may not be saved. He then thanked God for the church and the money that was going to be taken up. He concluded his prayer with "In the name of Jesus, our Savior, Amen." I had never heard a child be so reverent in his prayer before. Latrell is a 12 year old boy who was not afraid to pray in front of others. He wasn't embarrassed or thought he was too mature for prayer, but rather he asked to pray. If only we had the heart of a child sometimes.
I then went with the other teacher and took our 3-5 year olds to their Sunday School class. As we were beginning the morning lesson it seemed as if each child had a story to tell about something that had happened that week. Mrs. Copeland (the other teacher) then asked," How many of you told at least one friend about Jesus this week?" About half the class raised their hands and began naming the different people they told. One little girl, Madison, told how she was telling her friends on the playground at school. If only we had the heart of a child to not be afraid of what others would think if we began talking about Jesus.
After the lesson ended I was getting ready to hand out the cookies to the kids while Mrs. Copeland was asking review questions about the lesson. After the last question was asked Mrs. Copeland said, "Okay, lets pray real quick before we have the snack." DonDon, a little boy who is about 5, stopped her before she started praying and said, "Can I pray Mrs. Copeland?" She smiled and said, "Sure Donnie, go ahead." Now before I go any further you have to know something about DonDon, he is your everyday little boy who likes running, frogs, monster trucks, and just about any other boy thing you can think of. He also has a speech impediment. He cannot say his 'th's or his 'c' as in the word 'city'. Now that you know that; back to what I was saying about him... he bows his head and folds his hands. All the other children do the same thing and he begins to pray, "Tank you, Lord, for Tunday Tool. Tank you for my teachers and for my friends. Tank you for making me and the other 't'ids too. Tank you for the tookies and tank you for making te world and turch and Tunday Tool. In Jesus name, Amen." After the prayer Mrs. Copeland and I just looked at eachother and then at Donnie. If only we had the soft hearts of a child.
Being a teacher in that Sunday School class, I think I have learned more from the children then they have learned from me. Each week I see the unaltered faith of a child, I see the softness of a child, and I see the yearning in the eyes to learn and be loved. I am able to see the inside the heart of a child week in and week out. To hear some of the stories the kids tell me of their life at home you would think they would have some sort of bitterness or anger because of what is happening in their life. They don't realize yet the problems they will face in the next 5 to 10 years because of their homelife. All you see though is the unabashed faith and love of a child. Everytime I see something like that in one of the kids I think to myself, "If only we as adults would have the heart of a child." How much easier life would be! To come to Jesus in a childlike faith and know, just like a child would, that He will answer the prayer. To only have the heart of a child!

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Praise and Worship

Over the last few weeks I have considered the word 'Worship'. We all hear the word and most consider something to do with God. Whether it be devotions in the morning when we have our quiet time. Some think of being in church when a message is being preached. Some think of singing songs of praise to God, whether it be with a group or congregation, or all alone in the shower.
We had a Karate tournament yesterday...I never realized that could be a type of worship. Ballroom Dance class was on Thursday, that is a type of worship too. Then I realized something bigger. ANYTHING we do is a type of praise and worship to God. If we are doing it to the best of our ability to honor and glorify our Father we are worshipping Him. Thinking about it is kind of strange. I have to clean my room today and I could worship and praise God by just cleaning my room to the best of my ability, honoring Him in the process.
A few weeks ago my family and I went to a Red Hawks Baseball game. After the game a Contemporary Christian artist, Jeremy Camp, was having a concert. I really didn't want to go because there was a lot of things I knew I had to do to get ready for the rest of the week. Grudgingly, I went anyway. Though none of my family knew what was going on in my head, the Lord had really brought me under conviction during this concert.
As the songs were being sang I was still a little upset I was there because all I could think of was the things I had to do at home. Looking around, I saw people with upraised hands with their heads lifted towards the heavens in worship to God. Although, I am not one to really do all that in public I was surprised to see how many people were doing this. Watching I began to wonder, " How many people are doing this because they really mean it and how many people are doing it because the person next to them is too and they don't want to be left out?"
Scanning the crowd I found something most intriguing. One man that was standing at the end one of the rows was just standing there swaying, left, right, forward, and back. Watching him more closely, I realized he was mentally slow. Wanting to hear him better, I stood up facing more his direction and just listened. It was then I was brought to one of those times where God pulls a little at the heartstrings and expects you to take a minute and listen. This man who seemed to be near 50 stood there with a crooked ballcap on. A frayed fannypack, his pants crooked, and his shirt half-tucked and buttons not buttoned right. He was grunting. He was trying to sing the song but couldn't get the words out right. He just grunted off- key to the tune. Watching him I saw something amazing. He was praising and worshiping God the way he knew how... Swaying to the time of the music, grunting, and clapping his hands off-beat to the rhythm of the song.
Looking at the hundreds of people there I saw people who seemed to raise their hands on a regular basis. Almost as if they were going through the motions of what is 'to be done' at a concert of that kind. Of course, I am not saying that was the case for everybody but I am just noting on what I saw and took from the many people there. I don't know anyone's heart though...
This man though, the one who could hardly speak and would grunt instead with an off-key tune, was praising God. And ya know what? God was honored!
It was the final song of the concert. Jeremy Camp began singing, "Give Me Jesus". That man got really quiet. He quit grunting, quit swaying, quit everything. He stood there watching Jeremy Camp sing and tears began pouring from his eyes.
I had already felt horrible for not having a better attitude about going to the concert towards my mom...(I was really giving her a hard time about it) I also felt bad for not worshiping God more sincerely, Not just at the concert but also in my daily life. Then God told me something. Of course not out loud in some great voice, but in that still, quiet voice we don't always hear. He said, "You see that man? He is my child just like you are. You see those tears he is crying? Even in his tears he is crying in praise to Me."
Praise and worship can be anything! If we are doing it in honor to God he will be pleased. Sometimes it is the meager things that pleases God the most. The things we find to be unplausible God may see as the greatest praise and worship.
So whether it be by lifting our hands in praise, beating someone up in a sparing match, dancing the waltz, or grunting off-key to a melody if we are doing it for God it is a form of praise and worship to the Lord and King.


Sunday, April 13, 2008


Over the last couple weeks I have been thinking alot how many times people are underestimated. Almosted like people are judged to be too good or too bad just by looking at them. I don't know if that makes sense so let me try to explain myself.
I think overall people always underestimate someone else in some way. For instance, those who go to church on Sunday can, many times, look at someone and think to themselves, "That is a really good person." One may never think that person could do something extremely wrong. Or if they did something somewhat questionable it was out of character for that person. Is that considered underestimation? Think of someone who you find to be a good person. Now think of something completely out of the ordinary for that person, whether it be good or bad, and ask yourself if you could find that person ever doing the very thing you thought of? What was your answer?
My sister and I were discussing this ordeal of underestimation and this was her thought on it. "It's not that we underestimate people. It's that we don't expect certain things of certain people. If it's something out of character for that person why should we expect that person to do something out of character?" I agree with her on this to an extent, although I am not sure what to think about it all. I agree that we would not usually expect something of someone, especially if it is not normal for them to do certain things. We are all creatures of habit and when our habit is broken somehow we are out of our element and comfort zone trying to find ways back in.
Now though my thought is, is this unexpectation the same as underestimation? I don't know.
To not expect something of someone, whether good or bad, is in some way underestimation. If a person can look at another friend or neighbor and think,"That person would never do this(whatever 'this' may be)." Is that underestimation or just unexpectation?
What do you think? Perhaps you have been in a situation and you think, "No one would expect me to do this." Maybe it is something you are afraid to do...let's be extreme. Bungie jumping, getting a tattoo, etc. I realize those ideas may be a little out there but work with me a minute...let's say you went and did something like that one weekend, came back and told people about your weekend activities. Upon seeing the shocked looks on their faces you think to yourself, "Do they underestimate I really have the ability to do that or were they just not expecting it?"
Like I said before, I think everone to some degree is underestimated. The human being is truly a mysterious creation of God. Though we may not expect certain things from eachother or underestimate eachother, individually we know many times if we set our mind to doing something we usually do it. It may take time and we may not do it right away but we do it. Something inside clicks and it is as if no matter what people expect or think our minds are set.
So what do you think....underestimation, unexpectation, or both?


Friday, April 11, 2008


Well, I am really new at this Blogging thing but I have a feeling I am really going to like it. I always wanted to do something like this but didn't know how to go about it. Now I hear of Blogspot and the lightbulb in my head comes on. "This would be just the thing for me!" I like writing but do not get much time to because my life right now is extremely busy. I think this though is going to be much easier than keeping a journal. You may or may not be interested in my blogs but read at will.
I am the oldest sibling in my family. I have one sister and one brother. Victoria is 14 and Christian is 13. I am the the oldest grandchild on my mom's side of the family which also makes me the oldest cousin as well.
Here is a list of random stuff about me and I will be on here probably in a few more days to give a real-everyday life- kind of blog. I really am a deep thinker sometimes but today is just not one of those days.
I am 18 years old and a Senior in high school. I am concurrent enrolled at Rose State College and am almost finished with my second semester. I am a piano teacher and never thought teaching kids to play the piano would be so much fun...not really that it is fun but it is rewarding to see the kids progress and get better with the passing time. I know Jesus Christ as my Savior. I don't like stupid people. Family is everything to me. I love food and Italian is my favorite. I have been homeschooled all my life. I have never smoked a cigarette and never will. I've never been on a date and from the looks of it probably never will. I view Italy as my home. I am 5ft. 9in. I like driving and I like going fast. I have yet to get any kind of ticket. I am afraid of clowns. I don't like uncertainty. I am part of a really awesome homeschool group. The freckles on my legs shape into constelations. Autumn is my favorite time of the year. Friends are the best things to have. I would rather have 1 or 2 best friends than 10 buddies. I know there are things about me you will never know.
Life has been throwing me a lot lately but all I can do is take it and deal. Although I screw up in life sometimes and don't always make the right decisions, I know God has my back and wants me to always look to Him for what He has for me. It may not seem like He is there all the time but I know if I am still, wait and listen I can hear that still, small voice guiding me. All I have to do is stand still. I have a sweet 1968 Mustang that will never seem to get done but is now sitting in my garage just waiting. I don't know what else you want to know about me but if you have questions just ask.
Until next time!!