Friday, December 31, 2010

Fighting for something

Another month has gone by and here I am again. Christmas was wonderful and we are now getting ready to celebrate the new year. Let me recap Christmas real quick for you: My dad's family was able to come over Christmas day to have Christmas dinner with us. Josh was able to come over as well because he celebrated Christmas with his family on Christmas eve. Later in the day, Amanda was also able to come over and be with us. All in all Christmas was great. I know it's not all about the presents but let's face it; sometimes that's the most exciting part. I was given awesome Vans from my parents, and a book that contains Dracula, Frankenstein, and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, from my brother and sister, and a beautiful necklace from Josh. Those were the best ones on my list!

Now that I recapped quickly I want to write about something which has been on my mind for the last few days.

We all fight for something; even someone who says they don't care about anything at all. In the end, I promise you, they will have fought for something in their life because they cared about something to some extent. In my life I have fought for many things. We, being in our human nature, will go through life continually fighting. Maybe not the physical kicking and punching but verbally, spiritually, emotionally....we fight. We fight for ourselves. We fight for others. We fight for those we love. We fight just for the sake of fighting sometimes.
Being in a relationship for almost 6 months now it never occurred to me to even consider what would happen if the relationship Josh and I are in started getting hard. Now let me say this because I know the way it sounded made it sound like our relationship has not been hard at all. It has not been the easiest thing in the world but it definitely is nowhere near the hardest thing in the world either. We have both worked at different areas in our relationship together and have become stronger both separately and together because of it. About a month ago Josh was offered a job working for a very large company. In taking this job though he would have to move 2 hours away, work about 140 hours a week with 11 days on and 3 days off. The good in taking this job is he would have a pay raise, benefits and other perks, insurance, and would be able to move up in the company in a reasonable amount of time. Of course, when he first told me about the opportunity offered to him I was terrified but knew it was all God's doing and He is the one who placed this amazing opportunity in Josh's lap. It would be crazy if he didn't accept. We both know this will be hard on our relationship but agree it will cause us to be stronger both individually and together and will make our relationship stronger too because we will have to put more into it.
Every girl out there needs assurance. Guys can be told something once and they don't need to hear it again. We girls, on the other hand, may need to hear something ten times before we really believe it. Or maybe it's not that we don't believe it but we just need the reassurance that whatever it is hasn't changed since the last time it was said. Last night I came to ask myself,"If push came to shove and something happened....would he (Josh) fight for me?" Once again, not necessarily in the physical manner of fighting (although I don't think anyone would want to take on a guy of Josh's stature) but in all other senses of the word would he fight for me? Every girl wants to know if they will be fought for. I think I knew from the very beginning of our relationship he would fight for me but I had never specifically come out and asked. I never needed to ask but like I said... we girls need to hear things a few times. Tonight he and I were able to talk about it and I did come out and just ask him if he would. Although I think he was taken back somewhat that I had even asked, he answered the way I knew he would and assured me he would fight for me, for our relationship, and would not have a problem fighting any guy who may come along. Personally, fighting for someone is a pivotal thing in a relationship. If you do not have the guts to fight for someone or fight for the relationship at all, there is no reason to even be in the relationship. Now, there is a difference as well. If you see the relationship just will not work out and it's not supposed to be, don't fight for something that is wrong. If it's right though fight with every bit of strength you have and don't give up just because it gets hard and the other person may not be fighting as hard as you, or possibly at all.
I am not the type of person to display my emotions well, especially if it involves tears. Josh thought something was wrong with me the rest of the night after asking him the question that had been burning in my head for so long. Truth be told, there was nothing wrong with me at all. I was simply happy. I was trying not to bawl my eyes out in front of him. He gave me one of the greatest assurances a girl could ask for. He would fight for something, but not just something, someone- me.
I don't mean for this post to be all about me. Sometimes the best way to get a message across is to use personal examples. My point out of this whole thing is to just remember to always fight for something, because when no one fights for anything, we have nothing. What will you fight for in this new year to come?

Until next time,

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

So i'm sittin' here and am very thankful for lazy Sundays. I do not like the idea of going back to school tomorrow but I am anxious to finish up the rest of the semester and be done for a few weeks.This month has been really good! From my birthday close to the beginning of the month to my grandfather's we celebrated yesterday.

Thanksgiving was good! I absolutely love Thanksgiving. It's my favorite holiday.

My best friend, Amanda, came down from missouri and we were able to spend time together. We took her niece and Josh's little brother to the zoo Friday afternoon. Amanda swears up and down us taking them to the zoo is the start of their friendship. I think she is sadly mistaken but the kids did have fun together either way.

I was able to spend time with Josh too! I didn't have to worry about school or tests or work. It was very good. My family went to his house Friday afternoon and both my family and his shot guns and spent time together. It was a little bit weird for me because that was the first time both his parents and mine were all together at the same time. It went well though.

Friday night my dad, Josh, and I went to an indoor soccer lock-in at ISA. We met up with some people I work with and had a small team built up. Played about 12 different games from midnight til about four that morning. Needless to say I slept til almost 12 the next day.

Yesterday began with getting all the Christmas decorations out and my brother, Amanda, and I decorated the house. By the time the decorating was over we were able to celebrate my grandfather's 63rd birthday. We had plenty of food and a great fire going on in the firepit. Fires are amazing!! Along with family Amanda was here to celebrate too and Josh came over a little bit later to help celebrate.

Aren't you thankful for those Sundays when you don't have to do anything but be lazy? Pretty sure that's why God gave us those. Hope all has been going great with each and every one of you. As we are getting into the holiday season let's try to enjoy each and every lazy Sunday we can get. We are going to need it, I'm sure!

Until next time,

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Love of God

In the last few weeks I have been thinking a lot about the love of God. Thinking about how much He loves us and cares for us, it continuously amazes me. He loved us before we were born! He knew us and had plans for us before time even began.

Time is of no relevance to Him. See, He is Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. The future as we know it; He has already been there. The past that we went through; He was there before. He saw our lives and the choices we would make. He already knew if we would accept or reject Him and his love. Even then, when He knew which ones would reject him, He sent his Son to die for them and He still loves them.

He loves us! Every part of us! He knows the number of hairs on our head. The Bible says,
Matthew 6:26- "Behold the fowl of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?"

Luke 12:7- "But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are more valuable than many sparrows".

God loves us more than we could ever imagine. Sometimes in life we don't think He is there but He promises us He will never leave us or forsake us.
Hebrews 13:5-"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."

We do not always see why our life is the way it is. We question why God allows us to go through things in our life when it hurts or seems to make our life worse. Even then God loves us when we don't think he is there. He knows where we are in life and how we feel. In our time of weakness He wants to be our strength. He wants to be our everything. He is a jealous God and wants our love and affection. His love is unfathomable. He is a great and amazing heavenly Father.

Until next time,

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Senate in September

Time is going by so quickly these last few months. I haven't even considered posting a new blog until just today. I hope everyone has had a great summer. Mine was great but went by way too fast!

I finished my math class I was taking over the summer and passed. This semester I am taking College Algebra and Intro to Biology. So far both classes are going exceptionally well. I can't complain. The algebra teacher I have is said to be the best one at the college. I don't know if that's the truth or not but he's getting me to understand the work so it doesn't matter. I am now a Senator for RSC. It was really a spur of the moment decision to even try to run for Senate. I never wanted to do anything like this but due to tuition waivers not coming through and running out of time to apply for scholarships a few people at work said I should run for Senate. They were/are both involved in Senate and Treasury and said if I made it my tuition would be paid for. I figured why not give it a whirl. If I made it, great. If I didn't I wasn't going to cry over it. In a matter of a few days before campaigning I put in my application. Long story short, I made it! Now let me say this. I didn't do it by myself. If Camilio -a guy I work with who was a senator last year- hadn't helped me so much I would probably not have made it. He is a great guy who has my back. I was sworn in this passed Tuesday along with 16 or so other new senators and started learning the ropes that same day. It's not even been a week and I've had a blast. This past weekend we were required to attend two outings. Friday was from 9-5 and Saturday was 9-1. During that time I have gotten to know many of them and made new friendships.

After I got done with the Senate outing on Friday I went home and celebrated my brother's 16th birthday. I can't believe he is 16 years old! He has his driver's permit right now and will be able to get his license in a few months. He is such an amazing kid! He towers over me though and can probably take me in a fight now so I don't know how much longer I can call him 'kid'. He is going to the Dickey's ranch this weekend to work cattle. He really enjoys working with the cattle and I can see him doing something like that as a job later in the future. We'll see what happens I guess.

My boyfriend and I are still dating. I am having a blast with it. It's still new and I still don't know how everything is supposed to work but we're both having fun and trying to figure it all out. Learning more about each other and enjoying each other's families. I am glad we both get along so well with each other's families. I think it has made everything pretty easy. I have gotten to know his friends better too and have become friends with them as well. They are some really great people. All in all, I can definitely say he's not leaving any time soon. I love that guy too much. :-)

Well, this wasn't a completely mind blowing update but you now are up to date on my life so far. Hope you all have a great week and I'll be back soon with a new post. I have something brewing up in that head of mine I want to write on.

Until next time,


Sunday, July 11, 2010

Two Month Update

I can't believe it has been two months since my last update. I have thought on and off that I needed to write a blog pretty soon but I didn't realize it had been so long!

These last two months have been quite crazy. This summer is going by so fast, I am wondering where it has gone. I guess it's true- the older you get the faster time flies.

I decided to go ahead and take a math class over the summer and it is going acceptionally well right now. I am quite ready for it to be over and done with though. As long as I make a C in it I don't care. This class will not affect my GPA so just as long as I pass it.

Work is going good. I am hoping to become certified to teach aerobic classes pretty soon. If it works out it will be a good raise in my paycheck. Til then though I am really enjoying teaching swim lessons to all my little classes.

About a week ago I was finally asked out by the guy I was hoping would ask! We have been friends for years and graduated from the same homeschool group together. We had been hanging out for the last few months. Finally I came to a point where I had been praying about it for a while and knew if he ever asked me out I'd say yes and if he never did I'd be okay with just being his friend. For the last month though I couldn't tell if we were just friends or if the relationship was going another step. Many people told me to just ask him and find out but I didn't have peace about it. If it ever happened I wanted it to be in his time. He asked and it was adorable! This is the first time for either one of us to date so it is strange and foreign to both of us. It has been a blast getting to know eachother better and spending time with eachother's family. He really is a great, sweet, respectable, hardworking, God-fearing guy, who cares for me. I couldn't ask for anything more. God worked this out amazingly. Come to find out yesterday he had been praying about me for a while too. He talked to his parents and talked to his pastor and waited for the peace of God before he asked me out. A big plus on top of all this- my family really likes him and his family really likes me!

God is good, and life is good!

Until next time,

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Tribute to my Mother

With it being Mother's Day what better way to show appreciation for your mother than to tribute a special post just for her.

My mom is amazing. She was there for me from the day I was born; held me when I cried, kissed my owies, rocked me, loved me. I hope that when I am a mother I am at least half the Mom she is. She is one of the strongest people I know. The love she has for others is a kind of love I will never have.

My mom is one of my closest friends. I share almost everything with her. We have gone through some trialing times over the last few months and even though we may not see eye to eye on issues all the time I respect her and stand behind her in the decisions she makes and continues to make. She is one of my heroes! How God allowed me to have her for a mother I'll never know but He knew what he was doing when he chose her for me.

She listens when I want to talk. She gives advice even when I don't want to hear it. She forgives when I can't find it possible. She brought me up to love the Lord and to always follow his leading. As a child she taught me Scripture. She gave up alot to raise me. She could have sent me off to school and have her days free but she chose to homeschool me in order for me to have the best education possible. I can never thank her enough for that. She kept me from alot of things I could do without. She could have sent me off to school after my sister and brother came along because it would be too difficult to teach me and keep up with two other kids that were only 15 months apart but she didn't. When they got old enough we were all sitting at our little desks.

Thanks Mom, for every chocolate chip cookie, every kiss, every hug, every peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Thank you for every story, every bath with Mr. Bubbles in it, for every lesson, every spanking, every lecture. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for always believing in me. Thank you for the late night conversations. For letting me cry in your arms. Thank you for doing my laundry, and making sure I always had home cooked meals. Thank you for having patience with me as a child, thank you for not getting angry at every accident I made. Thank you for every silly song, for not always being a stuck up adult who didn't know how to have fun. Thank you for instilling in me a sense of adventure and wonder. Thank you for bringing me up going to church and learning about a Savior who died for me. I could go on and on with my thank yous but the thing I want to thank you most for... Thank you, mom, for being the best mom you know how to be! I love you!! Happy Mother's Day!

until next time,

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Ever Faithful

It is truly amazing how faithful God is to us each and every day! When we mess up in life and begin backsliding He never leaves. Yes, we get farther and farther away from Him because of our sin, but He has never left. He just waits for us to ask forgiveness and come running back to him. A good example I heard the other day was of the prodigal son. The prodigal son's father never left his home searching, but was waiting and watching for his son's return. Upon his son's return the father went out to meet him, embrace him, forgive him, and have renewed fellowship with him once again. This is just how God is with us but even better. See, God is not only looking for our return and waiting to forgive and renew fellowship with us; he also goes out and searches for us to bring us back to him. He gave us the Holy Spirit!
He knows us so well! He knows we will go through times when we are not as close to him as we should be. The Holy Spirit is there to lead and guide us back to the Father when we have lost our way in sin's darkness. God is forever faithful!
I have found over the last month that no matter how uncertain everything around me feels, I do not have to even question God's love and faithfulness to me. When I think of all he has done for a sinner like me who deserves nothing, I am in awe.
Regardless of what we are going through in life God gives us his promises to always be there.

Psalm 36:5- "Thy mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens; and thy faithfulness reacheth unto the clouds".

Psalm 88:11-"Shall thy lovingkindness be declared in the grave? or thy faithfulness in destruction?"

Psalm 89:33- "Nevertheless my lovingkindness will I not utterly take from him, nor suffer my faithfulness to fail".

Isaiah 25:1- "Oh Lord, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth".

Lamentations 3:23- "They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness".

God is the God of wonder. The God of righteousness. He is a jealous God and with his righteous jealousy comes overwhelming faithfulness to his children. No matter what we are going through in life God will be there to lead, guide, and direct. He gave us a free will to choose whether we follow his guiding or not. Sometimes we listen and sometimes we disregard his leading. Even when we disregard our Heavenly Father he is ready and willing to help us get back on the path he has for each and every one us his children. He may chastise us because we did not listen to him when we should have. This too is part of his faithfulness to us!
God never gives us more than we can bear and he promises when the burden is too heavy he will help carry it.
At points in our life we will question our job, our life, our relationships, our faith; we will question just about everything. We will even question God. When those times do come and we find ourselves questioning God remember God's love and faithfulness is everlasting. He is our Rock and Fortress; a very present help in trouble. He will always be there.

Until next time,

Thursday, March 4, 2010

"February and Everything After"- Counting Crows

It has been quite a while since my last post. I try and write at least once a month but February was not a good month for me.

I will not go into details of the last month but it was a very difficult time to say the least. My emotions continually fluctuated from hurt, anger, pain, frustrastion, betrayal, heartbreak, love, protection, depression, numbness, denial, hate and many more. I was a roller coaster of emotions and still am to an extent although now I am just numb and at a point where I just don't care. This has been a very difficult time and I am still having a very hard time. God is good though through the good and the bad.He has given me a great support group of friends and family to help me along the way. He is forever faithful and though I am angry and hurt I know He still loves me and will keep me close to his side. He is the greatest Comforter and will never leave. He will never fail me even when men do.

I have signed up to become a doula and will be taking classes starting tomorrow up at OSU-OKC for three days from 8 in the morning to 6:30 in the evening. Hopefully this will be a start of a career that I will enjoy. Everything has really been falling into place in that area of my life. I am excited to get started and begin doing what I believe God has called me to do.

My classes for this semester have been rather hard. I am taking an Anatomy and a math class. I enjoy my math class and am doing well in there but my Anatomy could be much better. We have another test coming up this week and I have decided if I do not do well I will go ahead and drop the Anatomy class and stick with math.

I am at a point in my life where I am ready to be out on my own. I am hoping the Doula thing works out and maybe I can move out with a few girls if everything goes well. We'll see... keep that in your prayers!

Still am not dating anyone and haven't found any takers. I am okay with that though and am not really looking for anything. I am content where I am over all and will continue to wait on God and his timing.

Went to the Winter Jam last Saturday and could truly feel the presence of God. It was as if he wrapped his arms around me and held me close. My heart was at peace and I was able to cry out to him. I wasn't going to go to the concert at first but when my sister told me she wanted me to go I went and am very glad I did now.

My sister and I have become very close over the last month and I thank God for that. It's unfortunate the circumstances that brought us closer together but we are and I can't complain about that part.

Well, for now I am off to bed. The classes start bright and early tomorrow and I want to be ready. May all of you have a great month and I will be sure to get on near the end of the month with an update on how everything is going in life.

Until next time,


Saturday, January 16, 2010

God is God so I Don't have to Be

God gives and God takes away. He is Alpha and Omega. He is the beginning and the end. He is first and He is last. He is God. As human beings we cannot begin to understand Him, his ways, his will, or his purpose at times. It is during these times when we cannot understand that we must simply trust in God to know He knows what He is doing. To remember He has a purpose and a plan for each and every individual. Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts".

I found out only an hour ago about a family dear to my heart who has suddenly lost one of their own. He was playing basketball today when he collapsed and died. What makes it even more sad is the fact it was his birthday today. He had just turned 15 years old. When I first heard this the only word I could form in my head was,"Why?". This boy was healthy, full of life, and loved the Lord. Why would God decide he needed to come home? I can't begin to imagine what his parents, brothers, and sister is going through. What was God's purpose in allowing him to die so abruptly? What is his will in all of this? God has his reasons. Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;".

God has his timing in all things. He is the Almighty God. He is God so I don't have to be! These big question marks sitting in my head and many other people's heads will be answered one day. It may not be while here on this earth but when we're in Heaven with our Maker. II Corinthians 12:9b "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness..."

During times like these is when God wants us to realize He is everything we will ever need. He is our strength, our comfort, our protector. He is literally everything. He wants us to lean on Him; to praise Him in the storms of life and to praise him when all is calm. Here is a song the family sang often and speaks to my heart now while mourning the loss of this brother in Christ.

Lean on Me

When no one cared about me f I should live or die,
And no one bothered asking why i'd go alone and cry.
When burdens got so heavy that I could not face the day,
Then i'd feel his arms around me and i'd hear him gently say,

"Lean on Me when you have no strength to stand.
When it feels like you're going under, I'll hold tighter to your hand.
Lean on Me when your heart begins to bleed.
When you come to the place that I'm all you have,
Then you'll find I'm all you need".

When the road ahead looks rugged and the path is getting steep,
I feel that I can't make it and my heart begins to bleed.
Then I turn to see who's coming to join me in the way,
And I see that it's my Savior and I hear him gently say,

"Lean on Me when you have no strength to stand,
When it feels like you're going under, I'll hold tighter to your hand.
Lean on Me when your heart begins to bleed.
When you come to the place that I'm all you have,
Then you'll find I'm all you need".

Please keep this family in your prayers. They need prayers more than ever right now and need to feel God's comforting love with his peace that passes all understanding.

I close with this verse in mind. James 4:14, "Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away".

Life can end in a moment. God holds the keys to both life and death in His hands. Cherish the life you are given and be prepared for the moment God calls you to be with Him.

Until next time,

Sunday, January 3, 2010

3 Months...Are You Serious?

Wow, I can't believe it has been 3 months since my last post! I try to do one at least once a month but as you can see that hasn't really happened lately. I and my family have been extremely busy lately.

November started out with my birthday and I am now no longer a teenager. I am officially in my 20s! We had Thanksgiving down in Texas and it was really great. If you don't already know Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. We were able to spend it with almost all of my mom's family. There was about 30 people for Thanksgiving dinner.

December came with us moving into our new house! We are now out of the city and living in the country. I am still getting used to it but have enjoyed it very much. The drive is something I am still not really used to and it definitely takes time to get to the city. Everyone knows we got snowed in Christmas eve. Luckily, my grandparents were able to make it up the Monday before and they were able to enjoy the country Christmas. It was our first white Christmas and it was gorgeous. We didn't do a whole lot for Christmas since we were busy trying to move in our new house but we had a blast none the less and the snow really made Christmas amazing. God really blessed.

January has just began. I have about a week and a half left before the new semester starts back up at RSC. I go back to work though on Tuesday. We start a WSI (Water Safety Instructor) class on Wednesday. I'll be going to that for a week to get my WSI certification. It'll be kinda long because it is almost every day from 9-4 but I won't complain because it will be a pay raise.

I am hoping this new year brings alot of changes for the better. I am hoping to get into LPN School and after a year of that it will automatically reserve me a spot for a year of RN school. I am really hoping everything goes as planned. I am anxious to get into the medical field! Maybe there's a possibility of a relationship too. Well, a girl can only hope but I'm still waiting on God's timing. He knows my heart and will do what he sees best. His ways are not my ways.

May your new year be prosperous and blessed! Hopefully I will be on here soon with a new thought in mind.

Until next time,