Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Time Flies when You're having Fun...or Not!

It has been forever since I last wrote. Quite honestly, I can't remember what I last wrote about or when. I have been wanting to post for a few weeks now and have finally found the time to do so. They say time flies when you're having fun; I guess that's true although in my case it's just been way too busy. Where do I begin to catch you up on everything that's been going on?...

Let's start back in May. I withdrew from the LPN program for a number of different reasons. To make a long story short, there was an incident between a teacher and I and after the misunderstanding she began failing me in most all of the classes that I had with her. I could not seem to plead my case with the director of nursing and when it came down to it they were going to dismiss me. When I came to the school to have the meeting with my director and the teacher they had already packed up my desk and had everything sitting for me in the office. It truly was all unfair. I had never felt so degraded and put down in my educational career. I can only believe God has a better plan for me.

I am now currently enrolled in Moore Norman Technology Center and will be starting all over in the LPN program. Also another set back, but I'd like to think God is wanting me to do it all over again because by the time I withdrew from the program in Burns Flat, I was no longer learning anything but rather memorizing material for tests. I was told by my director in Burns Flat all my classes I completed would transfer. After I applied to the program at MNTC, I was informed none of my classes would transfer because it was a different curriculum.

So...what am I doing now? Just enjoying my summer and trying to get pumped up for August when I begin school again. Josh and I have moved back to Tuttle and are living in our camper trailer until we decide what we are going to do about living situations. We are debating on whether to buy a house, or build instead. We are saving up money right now for whatever we decide and waiting on some direction from God on what He wants us to do.

In the last few months I have seriously gone thru a grieving process. I have gone from anger to sadness, from sadness to anger, from anger to understanding, and from understanding to confusion. It seems to be a bit of a cycle. In the last few weeks I have done much better and know God has everything in his hands and I just need to trust Him. Yes, I'm upset because I was almost done with my schooling.  Yes, I'm upset with the way I was treated. No, I don't think anything was handled in the proper manner. Yes, I know God is in control. Yes, I know He loves me and only wants the best for me. I take the punches that life hands me and try to give it over to my God. Josh has also been a big help. He has supported me every step of the way and encourages me to keep going. God really did create Josh just for me! I couldn't imagine being married to anyone else.

What's my point in this whole post? Basically, life isn't always fair. It doesn't always make the most sense. God has a plan for each of us though, We may not see his plan and we may get upset and frustrated along the way. Hold on though, God is making your life into a masterpiece; you will just have to wait and see the picture when it's finished.

Until next time,

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

God's Presence

It's been a while since I wrote. My excuse like every other time is...life has been busy. School has been going well. I am in my second trimester with one more to go. It has been a challenge but I am pushing through and loving every minute of it. Josh has been a big help through all of this and I can't imagine my life without him. He has been working hard, long hours and can't wait for some time off.

I wanted to write today because last night I went to my small group and we talked about the presence of God in our life. How in Exodus God told Moses that He would bless his people and Moses responded by saying in Exodus 33:15 "And he said unto him, if thy presence go not with me, carry us not up hence". What I find so amazing is how Moses didn't want to go without the presence of God. God promised that he would bless his people, bless their life, their lands, etc etc but Moses said if you don't go with us, we won't go. Can we do that in our own life, honestly? Can we want the presence of God so much that even if he promised us every blessing and every opportunity but we wouldn't have his presence in our life, could we be like Moses and want his presence above everything else? That's a hard thought. Isn't the presence of God everywhere constantly? I mean even in the darkest parts of Africa people know there is a God. His presence is everywhere. We can't get away from his presence.
We don't need to search for Him or his presence. Trying to obtain it, or search for it is doesn't make sense, it's already there. All we need to do is be still. But what does it mean when God says, "Seek and ye shall find"? He wants us to seek. It is in our human nature to search. Maybe he wants us to seek him out, even when he's already there; just to show us how much we want Him and need Him.

So even though this is a short post, my point is could we be like Moses and say we won't do anything or go anywhere without the presence of God in our life? Do we have anything standing in our way?

until next time,