Over the last couple weeks I have been thinking alot how many times people are underestimated. Almosted like people are judged to be too good or too bad just by looking at them. I don't know if that makes sense so let me try to explain myself.
I think overall people always underestimate someone else in some way. For instance, those who go to church on Sunday can, many times, look at someone and think to themselves, "That is a really good person." One may never think that person could do something extremely wrong. Or if they did something somewhat questionable it was out of character for that person. Is that considered underestimation? Think of someone who you find to be a good person. Now think of something completely out of the ordinary for that person, whether it be good or bad, and ask yourself if you could find that person ever doing the very thing you thought of? What was your answer?
My sister and I were discussing this ordeal of underestimation and this was her thought on it. "It's not that we underestimate people. It's that we don't expect certain things of certain people. If it's something out of character for that person why should we expect that person to do something out of character?" I agree with her on this to an extent, although I am not sure what to think about it all. I agree that we would not usually expect something of someone, especially if it is not normal for them to do certain things. We are all creatures of habit and when our habit is broken somehow we are out of our element and comfort zone trying to find ways back in.
Now though my thought is, is this unexpectation the same as underestimation? I don't know.
To not expect something of someone, whether good or bad, is in some way underestimation. If a person can look at another friend or neighbor and think,"That person would never do this(whatever 'this' may be)." Is that underestimation or just unexpectation?
What do you think? Perhaps you have been in a situation and you think, "No one would expect me to do this." Maybe it is something you are afraid to do...let's be extreme. Bungie jumping, getting a tattoo, etc. I realize those ideas may be a little out there but work with me a minute...let's say you went and did something like that one weekend, came back and told people about your weekend activities. Upon seeing the shocked looks on their faces you think to yourself, "Do they underestimate I really have the ability to do that or were they just not expecting it?"
Like I said before, I think everone to some degree is underestimated. The human being is truly a mysterious creation of God. Though we may not expect certain things from eachother or underestimate eachother, individually we know many times if we set our mind to doing something we usually do it. It may take time and we may not do it right away but we do it. Something inside clicks and it is as if no matter what people expect or think our minds are set.
So what do you think....underestimation, unexpectation, or both?
ActionJacksontheAngloSaxon
3 comments:
Jackie, I like your writing....Here are my thoughts on the subject. If we have expectations for a certain person and they don't meet them, we are the ones who suffer. It is better to lower our expectations than to have high expectations for all those around us. We tend to be critical of those who don't meet our preconceived expectations. I think we need to learn to accept people as they are....the good, bad, and the ugly. Expectations are good to a certain extent, but they can also lead to much distress in families and friendships. People will do things that we would never expect them to do. Sometimes they are wrong choices, sometimes they are just way out there. It is our responsibility to love them no matter what. High expectations can be the demise of many a relationship.
Here is my conclusion. When we underestimate somebody, they have usually done something unexpectedly well or nice that we didn't expect. Expectation is a burden we put on our others. Estimation is something we may not necessarily expect from a certain person. When we get an estimate for a job it is a round figure, not exact. The same for estimation in a person. We have a round figure for what we presume that person is capable of doing. Then when they do something extraordinary, we feel that we have underestimated them. So if a friend of ours gets a tatoo we may feel that they did not meet our expectations. However, if that same friend donated 1000 dollars to charity, we would feel that we underestimated them in their charity towards others. To sum it up I think that expectation is a pressure that we put on others to perform to our own personal standards. Lowered expectations occur when that person fails to reach our preconceived notions. Underestimation occurs when someone does something extraordinary, positive, and for the well-being of another, that we may not have felt he was capable of doing.
In lowering our expectations, we then can be sure to discover we have underestimated our friends and family.
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