To be a friend you must show yourself friendly. My mom always told my growing up I wouldn't have friends if I didn't talk to the group of kids on the playground and ask them to play. She was right. Sometimes I would leave the playground having no friends because I was too shy or scared and other times I wouldn't want to leave because of the new friends I had made.
Today I have 2 or 3 people (outside of my family) that I consider close friends. They can call me up on the phone when we haven't talked in weeks and it's no big deal. They can show up in pj's and a messy bun unannounced and I wouldn't bat an eye. We can cry, laugh, and even disagree with no fear of judgement.
Here's the weird thing; I'm not that great of a friend. Let's be honest. I don't respond to texts all the time. I ignore phone calls when I'm busy, can't handle drama, or simply don't want to talk. I don't always empathize well and I am normally pretty blunt. I have these awesome ideas of lunch dates, dinner dates, movies, etc. with friends. In reality, I don't have that kind of time or motivation. I have a kid and so do most of my friends. Unless you want to come to my house, pop open a bottle of wine, and chit chat while I make dinner, (or my kid naps, or he's running around naked on the back porch). That is about the extent most of the time of my friendly get togethers.
Sometimes this is very difficult. "Couple Friends" are nearly nonexistent. Josh doesn't have a set schedule. He works crazy hours and the time he does have at home we try to spend with our little family, extended family, or occasionally a date night. The idea of getting together with another couple to do something is a pipe dream at this point in time. Believe me when I say I'm not complaining. It's just where we are in life right now. Outside of work and family we don't have much down time and if we do we don't have friends we can call up on a whim to get together with anyway.
Maybe this is a phase of life everyone goes through. Maybe we just don't put in enough effort in this area of our lives, who knows. If you're my friend, thanks for being there when I'm not that awesome of a friend. To those who just want to hang out with a messy bun and pajama bottoms with little chance of going on an outing; let's make it happen.
Not sure that there was really any big point to this post. There was just a lot on my mind and I needed it out. If you are where I am in life; here's a shout out to you. If you've been where I am now, tell me if there's a solution to this conundrum. If you have no idea what I'm talking about then you are probably one of those people on Facebook going out all the time with friends and I'm sitting there wondering where your kids are (Sorry).
Until next time,